Learn to manage your state of mind, faster than you thought possible.

Changing the way you think can certainly be achieved faster than you thought possible.

Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT), Mental Space Psychology, Metaphors of Movement, and NLP are remarkable tools which help to achieve lasting change, faster than you may expect, and than others expect.

I have had clients achieve huge shifts and gain huge comfort by using these methods. Sometimes in just one or two sessions.

The state of the world right now, with climate crises, wars, cost of living issues are causing people great stress. Learning to manage your thinking, can help you to manage, yourself, situations and your life better.

For the next three months, I am offering three sessions to the first four clients to contact me each month at a 66% reduction, ie at £30.00 per session (terms & conditions apply).

What do Anti-depressants do for you?

‘I feel better, but suppressed!’ That is how a client described feeling after being on antidepressants for six weeks. Let me call the client Chris. Chris came to me suffering with deep, long-term anxiety, irritability, loss of confidence, and low mood. The GP had advised that Chris should continue with the antidepressants for a minimum of 4 months.

Now, if antidepressants are going to suppress deeply distressing reactivity - that is a benefit. But the real progress comes from developing new resourceful habits of thinking, being aware and taking action.

Typically, people suffering with any of these negative behaviours and a host of other negative behaviours that result from experiencing long-term anxiety, irritability, loss of confidence, and low mood are spending more time with their thoughts and rationalisations rolling around the inside of their own heads. They are not aware. Not aware of what is their every moment of objective reality. Their ‘life’ is not experienced but is instead created from the thoughts, judgements and justifications for what is wrong that is rolling around the inside of their heads.

Chris realised that learning to be aware, to look for what is good, to be aware of what is happening at any given moment, to be interested and aware of what he was eating or spending, to be actually choosing his life rather than merely being swept along, was what he wanted. These new resourceful and resilient habits of being would enrich his life, even transform it. Unfortunately being on antidepressants (when they supposedly work) do not facilitate such development. People need to be guided, supported and encouraged to develop this new useful habits.

If this makes sense to you, and you want assistance, book a free consultation.

When Children are listened to ....

Thursday’s General Election, can give parent’s time to ask their children what are the key issues that are important to them, to help those parents make their voting decision. For after all, what happens in the next 5 years can make a significant difference to the planet. And the state of the climate and the state of the planet will make a profound difference to our young people’s future and inevitably the state of the economy.

During this election campaign, I have been helping our local Green Party Candidate, and whilst I have been out and about, I have had some interesting conversations.

The one that left me most thrilled was a Dad, walking along with his 8 or 9 year old son. His son had become very aware of climate change, the need for us all to be making swift and large changes and he was leading that change in his family. He had persuaded his Dad, that the environment was the most important thing to consider - and so his Dad was going to be voting Green. But this clever boy had taken things further than just helping his Dad to settle on his voting choice in this vital election. When I met them, they had just been on a shopping spree, to buy presents for his siblings. They had been to several Charity shops in the High Street and bought pre-loved, lovely soft toys and some games. The young boy was delighted, because he had not furthered waste, but recycling, he had been allowed to live to his principles. The Dad was delighted too, because his relationship with his son had grown because he had genuinely listened to his son, he was validating his son by taking actions that clearly demonstrated that he valued his son’s perspectives and could see that taking the long view is far more important than being wooed by ever multiplying promises being thrown around to buy votes. Also, by listening to his son’s wishes he had saved himself money.

As this happy pair bounced off home, I was considering that this young lad will have had his self-confidence boosted significantly in this process, with life long benefits. It really was a thrilling experience to witness.

Special Offer

Three coaching sessions for the price of two!

Everyday is a new opportunity… why wait for the New Year?

Limited time offer whilst availability lasts.

Contact Clara and quote COACHING342 to take advantage of this special offer.

I couldn’t run to save my life!

An interesting conundrum was put before me this week.

 (In this article, I am not including in my consideration those that have a physical disability that prevents them from walking or running).

It was a conversation with someone about an organisation’s evacuation procedure, that prompted this chain of thought.  

This person was involved in a fire drill.  In recent months a nearby store had burned through in a remarkable mere 40 minutes. The fire had started in the cafe. Within 40 minutes the store was burned out.  So a nearby organisation was having a fire drill.  Their cafe was on the first floor.  It took sometime for those trained to carry a wheelchair out, down the stairs and out of the building.  This person chose to go against regulations and stay with a man who could only get out of the building if his wheelchair was carried out.  

This set me thinking about people who have become incapacitated because of their size and are entirely reliant on the electric chairs; huge things, that are so heavy in themselves that nobody could carry them down flights of stairs.  These people would have to wait for the emergency services, who themselves may not be able to rescue them.  (Yes some buildings have ‘Escape Rooms’ but only this week, there was a tale of four individuals who died whilst waiting in such a facility).

My mind churned and the horror of anyone burning to death, caused me to question, at what point does any individual choose to deal with whatever it is that has them eating and excessively gaining weight, to the point that they have become a desperate liability to both themselves and possibly others.

Now I know I am treading on dangerous and sensitive territory here.  Yes, I do know that there are many factors behind the issue of managing weight and weight gain.

Here are some:

• Lack of self-confidence

• Unhappiness – because of unhappy personal or work relationships

• Loneliness – because of unhappy relationships, or difficulty in making friends

• Sugar Addiction – so much food is laced with sugar

• Gluten addiction 

• Alcohol

• Lack of activity – through lack of time or lack of inclination

• Changing metabolism as we get older – means that we can no longer maintain weight as we once did, or lose weight as we once did

• Insidiously increasing portions

• Filling time with eating

• Not being aware of what we are eating

It may not be much, but I am a 6kgs heavier than was my average weight for most of my adult life. I am now 62 years old.  I have been fit for much of my life – danced, cycled, kung fu, played tennis for much of my adulthood.  I like many mothers and women, and also self-employed, have found myself easily putting myself aside in favour of my son and my work. Is that my excuse as well as my changing metabolism due to the menopause and my age?  However, I do believe that I could still run for my life out of a building, if I had to.  This year, I intend to strengthen my longtime dodgy knee and build my stamina and to lose those 6kgs and run, cycle and play tennis (even if not viciously – but then I never did).

I was brought up with sugar – white sugar.  I used to eat sugar sandwiches when I was at primary school.  However, in my twenties, I learned about the poison that is sugar (read ‘The Sugar Blues’) and I became very interested in mind, body, spirituality, health and food.  It has been core to how I live and breathe since then (you could ask my son and he would roll his eyes and nod).

I believe that the food industry is more interested in its profits, than your or my health and wellbeing. I also believe (I have worked in the NHS as a nurse, a paediatric nurse and a community and specialist health visitor) that the NHS does not have the capacity or the interest in keeping people physically and mentally healthy.

I believe that it is down to each and everyone of us to take action constantly in our own lives, to be able to participate fully in our own lives.

Eating badly diminishes our mental and physical health very significantly and increasingly accummulatively.   Most, if not all chronic diseases, stem from what and the way that we eat as well as our responses to stress. Our effectiveness, happiness, ability to relate well, sleep well, exercise well, think well, and manage our moods etc, are entirely down to how we eat.

All we are is chemical; having trillions of chemical reactions every moment of the day.  To have a thought, action or reaction is entirely dependent upon those chemical reactions.  Those chemicals, to produce those chemical reactions, depend upon the nutrients/food i.e. the chemicals that are put into our bodies.

So, if you don’t feel that it matters, and that food is just food,  I am sorry but you have either been misled or perhaps you don’t care.

Your life depends on you taking charge.  No one else can do it for you.  How you have got to your current state of health or ill-health, is not relevant to what you can do for yourself from this moment on.  

Changing habits, can be easier than you believe, but it does require your commitment.  You need to be open to learning to do things differently, to take on new realisations and to be prepared to keep building new beliefs and tastes.  Everyone falls off track from time to time, but the more you get back on track the stronger the resilient and resourceful pattern becomes.  The great likelihood is that you need support to help you to shift and to keep going. IEMT and NLP will help you dismantle old triggers and patterns and to build new resourceful and resilient patterns.

Doing so, most likely, will even save you money.

If you want to know if I can help you just get in touch.

Make sure that you can save your life! 

“I believe that it is down to each and everyone of us to take action, constantly in our own lives to be able to participate fully in our own lives.”

Growing new habits

Habits can be buggers. Well let’s say the habits that you suddenly find are making you feel depressed, trapped, negative, incapable with resulting actions of inertia, argue, ineffective, comfort eat, over-spend, drink or smoke etc.

Typically, people develop a set of habits without noticing.  You responded to something once in a way that worked for you; it made you feel better at that moment, you got attention, or it made a situation seem ok.  

Old habits of thinking, that are no longer serving you and are in-fact hindering you, will keep their grip unless you take action to determinedly develop new, more resourceful patterns.  (Old habits became habits because they were repeated so much that they became automatic and you could repeat them without ever needing to consciously do so).

To grow new patterns into habits requires you to consciously choose to repeat your new resourceful pattern consistently at every opportunity, to give that new pattern the chance to become a habit.  

We should also consider the impact of negative thoughts, biochemically.  Consistent negative thinking will have a compounding negative impact, generating more negative thoughts, impacting your health, increasing stress and anxiety.  Negative thinking and focus is a huge energy drain.

Positive thinking has the opposite and indeed positively compounding impact, benefitting mental, physical and creative capacities.  Interestingly, positive thinking and focus generates energy.

Focus is a choice.  You choose where you place your focus.  By choosing to focus on what is right now, what is right, right now, without judgement, you will improve your health, both mental and physical as well as increase your energy, increase your sense of options, and your capacity to learn.  You will also increase your effectiveness. All you have to do is choose to choose your focus.  Choose to choose where you place your energies.  You can choose to change your life.  Otherwise you can choose to choose not to.  This is no different to choosing to exercise and get good at a sport, or to choose not to.

Metaphorically consider whether you would choose to cultivate Japanese Knot Weed or Bind Weed in your garden, or alternatively pay attention and ensure that every bit of Japanese Knot Weed or Bind Weed that comes through in your garden is quickly dug up, instead nurturing the plants that you want to flourish.

“choose to choose to repeat your new resourceful pattern consistently at every opportunity to give that new pattern the chance to become a habit”

Can a yelling teacher ruin your life?

It is rare for animals to receive one cruel word or act and for them to be devastated as a result, for the rest of their lives. 

However, we cannot say the same for humans.

Many individuals who seem competent and capable on the outside, are plagued by one or more experiences from their early lives, which has impacted their relationships, their success, their self-confidence and their health.  Other individuals have not even been able to begin the charade to pretend that they are really ok.

It does not need to have been an extended or extreme experience to have traumatised someone.  

It crossed my mind the other morning how just one comment from a teacher, received by a young child, at a vulnerable or inattentive moment, can indeed have created a lasting, devastating impact. 

As a mother, I have seen the impact on my son from teachers – fortunately he is rebellious enough to be making his way, now, confidently, but it might not have been that way.

I have many clients, for whom the source of their severe discomfort which had extensively limited their lives, stemmed from such an early experience.

As I think about this phenomena, it could certainly be seen as a form of PTSD.  

Often it is not that exact moment when the teacher shouted at them, that caused their trauma but perhaps how they thought they were perceived by their class mates at that moment. Thereafter, fearful of being similarly shamed or exposed, they became reluctant to offer answers, then they began to tell themselves that they were stupid, or just couldn’t do particular activities or subjects.  

In early childhood, children tend to take personal responsibility for happenings – particularly other’s rage.  The fact that something might have been happening in the teacher’s life or mind which caused them to react as they had, does not occur to little children.  They are trapped in that moment when they glimpsed the expression on a friend or classmate’s face (which also could have had more to do with relief at not being on the receiving end of the teacher’s reaction) and thought it was the confirmation that their friend/classmate also thought they were stupid.  These stories can continue for all of some people’s lives if not corrected/dismantled.  It really can be extremely damaging.

Such events become transformed (for some) into limiting beliefs and identities, seeing themselves as someone who just couldn’t ‘do maths’, or sport, or learn a foreign language, or be artistic or speak in public, and so on.

Such limiting beliefs are then shored up as they then look for any further evidence that they are how they had chosen to define themselves.  So, not only did they become risk averse, but they also begin to see themselves always through other people’s eyes. This results in lack of confidence, and often an inability to trust their own judgement about their own worth.

When people are spending time justifying to themselves why they are where they are in terms of success or lack of it (because of these early disturbing experiences), they are not living in the present. They may not even be aware of what is around them right now. They are not able to be relaxed, present, effective, make effective decisions, or relate to others well.  This can have huge and accumulative impact on their relationships, their careers, and their physical and mental health.

Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMP) can remarkably unravel such deep-seated trauma and miss-held beliefs, and very unobtrusively.  It is speedy and very effective.  Then with NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP), you can begin building new patterns of action, to build new beliefs and new patterns to replace the gap now left by the dissipated old negative beliefs and feelings.

Be present and change your world

Does your life feel miserable? Does it feel all wrong? So what are you thinking about? What are you saying to yourself? What are you looking for? In this short video Clara helps you discover a very simple way to improve your world, right now.